Well, this is a cola alright. Front and center are the tastes of synthetic sweeteners aspartame and ace-k, and the duo are unable at every turn to simulate the mouthfeel of honest carbohydrates. The texture is bubbly but empty, passing over taste buds without the pressing weight that my body really pines for when sipping on a soft drink, effervescent out of obligation instead of passion. A generic combination of cinnamon, clove and lemon dominate the cola profile itself, vanilla present as a distant nuance that helps tie the disparate sapors together. It would not be a cola without it. But the synthetic sugars return as the caramel colored cocktail continues down your hatch, staining things with a diet aftertaste that only serves to remind you of your silly, weight-conscious decisions. Pepsi Zero Sugar is as disappointing today in 2026 as it was back in 2023, only now I at least got a single can on promotion.
For all sixteen ounces on offer here, we get only fifty milligrams of caffeine. That pathetic quantity depresses every pound of stimulant-loving person I am. Yet as I continue on my quest to see the bottom of the aluminum can, I reminisce of the halcyon days of long ago, where you could get your cola and energy drink fix in one decent soda. I wonder what sort of days Pepsi thinks back to?
